It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman (Proverbs 21:19).

Contention and anger commonly go together, and they kindle a flame that can scarcely be extinguished. The wise man has already told us, that it is better to dwell in an ill-thatched house, or even on a corner of the house top, without any covering from the storm, than with a contentious woman; but here he goes farther, and says that it is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman. The wilderness would make a very bad habitation, because there are the lions’ dens, and the habitation of dragons, so that a dweller in the desert would be not only destitute of every conveniency, but exposed to constant perils of his life. Yet it would be a more desirable habitation, than a wide house with the company of a woman that was tormenting her husband with everlasting brawls. The contentious woman is a greater monster than the tiger of the desert, and her tongue is more noisome than the tongue of the viper.

A contentious woman is not worse than a tyrannizing husband. A man may more easily make his escape from the presence of a scold, than a woman from the face of a brutal tyrant; and the delicacy of her mind makes her more susceptible of melancholy impressions from bad usage, than persons of the other sex ordinarily are.

When a husband and wife find the marriage yoke sweetened by love and peace, they should bless God for the happiness they find in each other’s society. Their pleasures are the most delightful which this world can afford, and they are indebted for them to that kind providence which has made them one flesh and one soul.

Excerpt from “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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A fool’s mouth is his destruction

A fool’s mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul (Proverbs 18:7).

For men to be destroyed on account of the transgression of their lips, is a grievous though just punishment; but the text represents the calamity which they bring upon themselves, in a still stronger light. They are not only the causes, but the agents of their own destruction ; by their lips they are caught in a snare, and by their lips they are ruined. It was a severe, though unjust censure, which Eliphaz passed on Job, when he said, “Thine own mouth condemneth thee, and not I, and thine own lips testify against thee.” But here Solomon tells us that fools, who have not the command of their tongues, are not only condemned, but punished by their own mouths. Their own tongues, as David expresses it, shall fall upon them; and when men’s tongues fall upon themselves, they are crushed under the weight. The tongues of other men may pierce into our vitals, but the sharpest and most envenomed words of other men can never wound a man so incurably as his own.

It was a more mortifying punishment for Haman to be hanged on a gibbet erected by himself, than if he had been hanged in the most disgraceful manner on any other gallows. The contentious fool is like Haman; he erects a gallows for himself, and twists those cords by which he is strangled. But Haman could not well know that he was working for himself; whereas the lover of strife has fair warning of his danger from the word of God, and therefore must fall unpitied if he will not be reformed.

Excerpt from “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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Prepare thy work without

Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field, and afterwards build thine house (Proverbs 24:27).

Things absolutely necessary, are to be sought after in the first place, and, in the next place, those things that may minister delight and satisfaction. For this reason we are commanded by our Lord, in the first place, to seek the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, because the salvation of our souls is infinitely more interesting than our welfare in this world. But as there is a lawful care about the things of this world also, we are directed in this place, to mind the things most needful to our present subsistence and comfort, before we proceed to those things that have an inferior influence upon the comfort of our lives. Solomon takes it for granted, that we have already a house in which we can live, and enjoy shelter from the inclemencies of the weather: but perhaps we wish to have a more elegant and commodious house. A wish of this kind is not unreasonable, only it must be kept in due subordination to our most important concerns. The work of the field, on which our subsistence depends, is of more importance than the building of a better house, and ought therefore to be first attended to, and then we are at liberty to build our house, if we can afford time and money for it. This rule of the wise man is of great use for the wise management of our secular concerns, and by neglecting it, many have been reduced to poverty and contempt; nor is it so remote from religion, as some inconsiderate persons may apprehend, for religion requires us to act prudently in the common business of life, and to do nothing that may reduce ourselves, or our families to want, or deprive our creditors of their just claims upon us.

In our religious concerns, the same rule ought to be observed. There are first principles which ought in the first place to be well studied, and then we must go on to perfection. To think of going on to perfection without learning the first principles, is as foolish as to think of raising the superstructure of a house, without laying the foundation; and to rest in the first principles, is as foolish as to lay the foundation of a house, and then to think that all our work is over.

God is a God of order; and he requires us to do all things in their proper order, both in our civil and religious business.

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Have not I written to thee excellent things, in counsels and knowledge?

That thy trust may be in the Lord, I have made known to thee this day, even to thee. Have not I written to thee excellent things, in counsels and knowledge (Proverbs 22:19-20).

The chief design of this book, is to instruct us in every duty that we owe to God and man; and confidence in God is a fundamental duty, without which we can perform nothing aright. Solomon calls sinners, in the beginning of the book, to return unto God, depending on his mercy, according to his promise. He directs us about believing in Christ, and in God his father who set him up from everlasting. He expressly enjoins us to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and to renounce all self-confidence. And the whole strain of his proverbs, wherein he constantly insists on the advantages of righteousness, and the misery that follows vice, encourages us to commit our souls in well-doing unto God. Confidence in God, is our shield against temptations, and the means of deriving from God through Christ all the supplies of grace needful for our assistance and support in the ways of holiness; and every thing said in this book, when it is duly considered, will contribute to strengthen our trust, as well as to direct our practice.

That our trust in God may be encouraged, and our steps directed, we must read and hear this book with application to ourselves. “I have made known to thee, even to thee,” says the inspired penman. It is God that speaks, and he speaks to each of us in particular, and we ought to receive what is said into our hearts, believing that the word of exhortation speaketh to us-in particular, as really as if it had been written for our own use, without a view to any other person in the world. Till we hear the word as the word of God, and as his word addressed unto us, we hear it not with due regard.

God hath not only spoken, but likewise written unto us by Solomon. “Receive I pray thee,” said Eliphaz to Job, “the law at his mouth, and lay up his word in thine heart.” Job did so, for he esteemed the words of God’s mouth more than his necessary food. Did the holy men pay such reverence to the word of God, when there was no scripture, and shall we shew less regard to it, when God has been graciously pleased to write unto us the great things of his law and covenant.

The things that are written are not only words of truth, but excellent and princely things, worthy to be written by the wisest of men, by inspiration of the spirit of wisdom. God refers it to our own judgments, whether they are not excellent. If we discern not their excellency we are blind and stupid. They have an excellency that far surpasses the most valued objects upon earth. Their value lies not in a glittering appearance, like gold, and silver, and diamonds, nor in affording entertainment to a curious mind, like a well written history, but in affording counsel, to make us prudent in all manner of behaviour, and in giving us knowledge, to enrich the mind with the most precious truths. To be wise, to understand our way to heaven, to know God and his Son Jesus Christ, and the acceptable and perfect will of God, are excellent attainments; and the things written in this book are of excellent use to assist us in acquiring them.

To have the judgment settled about the great things that are intimately connected with our best interests, is another benefit to be derived from a due attention to this book.

Excerpt from “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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The way of the Lord is strength to the upright

The way of the Lord is strength to the upright: but destruction shall be to the workers of iniquity (Proverbs 10:29).

Christ is the way, into which the upright man enters by faith, and he walks in it by holiness of conversation. He hates all guile, and hypocrisy is an abomination to his soul. Whilst other men strengthen themselves in their own imaginations by fraud and cunning, he derives all needful supplies of grace from him in whom all fulness dwells. The testimony of his conscience emboldens and invigorates his soul, and he waxes stronger and stronger. He is weak in himself, but his dependance is not on himself, but on God; out of weakness he thus waxes strong, surmounts every difficulty, and turns to flight armies of aliens. How weak was Peter when he denied his Lord! But the way of the Lord was Strength to him, and when near the end of his pilgrimage, he looked forward to the death of the cross with as much composure as a man does to putting off his clothes when retiring to rest. Upright men, when feeling the weakness of their own strength, are sometimes filled with anxious thoughts, lest they should become weary and faint, and fall before their enemies; but through the grace of Christ their strength shall increase, and shall be suited to their needs. They shall reach in safety the end of their journey, and be more than conquerors.

But what shall be the end of those that walk in crooked ways, and endeavour to secure their wishes by hypocrisy and iniquity? Destruction shall be their portion. Destruction and misery are in their ways. If they cannot now see this, they shall feel it at the end of their journey.

From “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable

The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable; but the mouth of the wicked speaketh frowardness (Proverbs 10:32).

How is knowledge ascribed to the lips of the righteous? Because their lips are directed by their hearts. They speak not thoughtlessly, but intelligently. Their lips are not devoted to flattery, nor do they slavishly comply with the sentiments and humours of men. But they know when it is fit to speak, and what is fit to be spoken. They know how to address persons of different dispositions, in a different manner, so as to please them, or what is of more importance in their estimation, so as to serve their best interests.

It is said of a certain General, that he had such a grace in his manner of behaviour, that a suppliant who had met with the refusal of a petition from him, returned better satisfied than he would from another who had granted the solicited favour. A prudent Christian has so much grace in his speech, that his reproofs and rebukes often gain him more favour and esteem, than others gain from their insinuating address. But the wicked man speaketh the words of deceit and folly, for what can be expected from a bad tree but corrupt fruit? And what shall be the end of a corrupt tree, but to be cut down, and cast into the fire?

From “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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The fear of the Lord tendeth to life

The fear of the Lord tendeth to life, and he that hath it shall abide satisfied; he shall not be visited with evil (Proverbs 19:23).

Religion is the soul of happiness, it makes the present life long and happy, as far as a long and happy life is really for our advantage, and it is the beginning of eternal life in the soul. He that is governed by the fear of the Lord enjoys heart-felt satisfaction, and the joys that spring from it are not like the short-lived joys of the world, that die away into sadness and misery; they last through life, they are vigorous in old age, when the pleasures of sense have lost their relish, and they triumph over death and all its terrors. Christians are indeed exposed to heaviness through manifold temptations, but the fear of the Lord, and the faith of Christ, has often produced joy unspeakable and full of glory in such seasons; and the disquiets which the people of God often feel, are owing for the most part to the imperfections of their religious dispositions, and are blessed by God as means of improving their grace, and introducing sweeter joys into their souls. Christians have unfailing grounds of satisfaction, for they have health in their souls, they know that all their affairs are managed by a wise and gracious Providence, and they have the sure promises of the life to come. If God himself can give satisfaction to the souls which he has made, they have it, or shall have it in due time, for he manages all things for their good, and his eternal excellencies are their portion.

The saint of God is entirely delivered from the miseries of man’s fallen state, as far as it can consist with the plan of his recovery which divine wisdom has contrived. The calamities which he suffers are unstinged to him through the Redeemer’s cross, which, like the tree that Moses cast into the waters of Marah, makes bitter things sweet. He is not visited with any unnecessary evil, and those evils that visit him are made good on the whole by the tendency which they have to do him good, and make him good. Reproaches and tribulations, sicknesses and deaths, are the common lot of men, and they are very evil things to those who are strangers to God, but they are good to them that love God, for they are appointed and useful means to make them partakers of God’s holiness, and prepare them for that blessed world where sins and sorrows are no more.

From “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Proverbs 29:15).

“Though you should bray a fool in a mortar among wheat with a pestle, yet will not his folly depart from him.” This is true, especially of old fools that are hardened by a course of foolish conduct. But the rod of correction is a means appointed by God, and often blessed by him, for driving away folly from the hearts of young persons. God never prescribed any vain or unprofitable precepts; and he would not have insisted so much on the duty of correcting children, unless he had designed in general to give a blessing to it.

But the rod of correction is of no use without the concurrence of God, the great and only author of wisdom; those, therefore, who desire the blessing of God to attend it, must administer correction in the manner appointed by him, and he requires reproof to be joined to the rod, that the child who is corrected may be made sensible of the evil for which he is treated with severity. Some parents follow the dictates of their own passion in correcting their children, and strike without mercy, when they use no means to make them sensible that they deserve the rod. They deal worse with their children than shepherds with their dogs, who beat them when they have done something that displeases their masters; but do it in such a manner, or at such a time, that these animals may perceive the fault for which they are punished.

The rod, joined with reproof, is a means of giving wisdom, and of making a child to behave in such a manner that he may be a credit to his parents; but a child left to behave as he pleases, will never, in all probability, be a comfort or an honour either to his father or to his mother. Men are naturally corrupt, and those that are left to follow the propensities of nature will be a grief to their fathers, and bring their mothers to shame. Their mothers deserved much blame for the indulgence so foolishly given them, and when they feel the torment which the bad behaviour of their children cannot fail of giving them, they must see their sin in their punishment.

From “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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A fool ultereth all his mind; but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards

A fool uttereth all his mind; but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards (Proverbs 29:11).

There are many people who boast of their honesty in telling what they think, and concealing nothing that comes into their mind. Such persons may call themselves by any honourable names they please, but Solomon calls them fools. Some things come into our minds that we should never speak, but suppress the very thought of them; and other things may be very fit to be spoken at a fit season, and yet very improper to be spoken at present.

The fool’s thoughts lie at the tip of his tongue; and there is no door at his mouth to keep them in. The thoughts of the wise man lie in his heart; and there is a door upon his tongue, which he keeps close barred, that nothing may get out of his mouth that may prejudice himself, or other men. Some things occur to him, which he will never utter to the wife of his bosom, because they could do no good; other things he thinks proper to be spoken at a fit time, and then he keeps in his thoughts till afterwards. He will never speak against his mind, but he will not always speak his mind; and when he speaks it, he does not think that honesty obliges him to speak all that is in it. Samuel told the elders of Bethlehem a part of his design in coming to their town; but he concealed the principal part of it by divine direction. There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak; there is a time to be silent even from good, because the wicked are before us; there is a time to speak a part of our mind, and a time to declare all that is in our hearts; and the wise man’s heart knoweth both time and judgment.

When a fool is in a passion, he pours forth all his mind in a torrent of ill language, and speaks words which afterwards cut him to the heart. Does he mean to reprove? He will do it at the most improper season, and inflame with rage the person whom he reproves. He may shew something of the temper of the dove; but he imitates it rather in silliness than harmlessness. The wise man is sensible that it is as much his duty to practice the wisdom of the serpent as the harmlessness of the dove; he will take care what he says, when he finds himself or sees others under the influence of passion, and will abstain from speeches wherewith he can do no good.

From “Exposition of the Book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool

“He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool; but whoso walketh wisely shall be delivered” (Proverbs 28:26).

We must not trust our own prudence, even about our worldly business, without acknowledging God in it, for it is a piece of folly to neglect him in whom we live and move, and whose blessing is absolutely necessary for our daily labours, and our daily bread.

It is still more foolish to trust our own hearts in our spiritual concerns; and yet we are guilty of this folly in a thousand instances. When we consult with our own judgment what worship we ought to give to God, instead of consulting with implicit submission of heart the oracles of God, who best knows what service will please himself—when we form our apprehensions about the doctrines of religion, without searching the Scriptures, and supplicating God to send forth his light and truth to direct and fix our judgments—when we try some other way of salvation than the way revealed in the gospel—when we form resolutions in our own strength, or persuade ourselves that we are able to keep them in opposition to temptation—when we endeavour to purify our own hearts, by closely applying to them moral persuasions, or even divine truths, without a sense of our absolute need of Christ as our sanctification:—In all these cases, and in many others, we are chargeable with this folly; and how gross the folly is may appear upon a slight examination of it. If any cheat had deceived us an hundred times, we would certainly deserve the character of fools if we trusted him any more; and we are great strangers at home, if we are not sensible that it has been the common practice of our hearts to impose falsehoods on us from our youth up. The idolatrous heathens and Roman Catholics, the falls of saints, and the general wickedness of mankind, might be adduced as proofs of the danger and folly of this carnal confidence.

The only way of walking wisely is to have no confidence in ourselves, but to trust in the Lord with all our hearts, and to follow his counsels whithersoever they lead us. They that trust in their own hearts lean upon a broken reed, which will soon fail under them, and they will fall into mischief. Those that trust in the Lord and walk wisely, may fall into calamities and temptations; but, for their comfort, they have a sure promise of deliverance. Their distresses are the trial of their faith, and they shall end in joy and happiness.

From “Exposition of the book of Proverbs” by George Lawson.

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